There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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