im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
