Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
