Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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