If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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