i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize