like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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