He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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