Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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