The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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