My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
