glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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