guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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