he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
