sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
