Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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