My hand turned me down
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
