true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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