those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
