turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
