Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You can't special order awesome
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
vagina is talking i cant
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
