just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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