Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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