I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
