She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
