I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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