i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
