I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
