I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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