Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How does it feel to date your dad?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
