we have officially lost it.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
