fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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