I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
