yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
