He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
