and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
