waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
