If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
