If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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