Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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