ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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