At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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