She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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