You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
did you just send me my own nude
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
