It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
