we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
