how hairy? two words: wookie tits
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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