Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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