i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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