my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
