This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
