Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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