So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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