I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
