Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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