My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
