How'd it feel making her break her religion?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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